A Lesson to be Re-Learned - Psalm 23

As I graduated from high school and moved into my college life I had a little too much confidence, a little too much wisdom and a little too much freedom. I (in all my wisdom) knew I did not need Christ or God or church or anything of that sort. All I needed was my friends, my philosophical and world view enlightening new classes, my very cool boyfriend and an early morning beer. But, I was wrong. Everything came crumbling down around me. The usual drama. The point is that after about six months of positively and very effectively destroying myself, God finally and very lovingly poured a cold bucket of ice water over me.

The lesson I learned was that in my hands and under my control my life would essentially break into so many pieces that I would never be able to put them back together again. I was being spread out too thin. I was weak and helpless and the only one who could ever help me was Him. This prompted my journey as His daughter. I no longer rejected Him, but embraced Him.

Over the years I got distracted. Though I never stopped believing and knowing that He is God. But I, again got a little too confident and wise.

Due to plane crash in 2008 I live with PTSD. Over time I have overcome quite a bit and I'm very grateful for that.  But PTSD is not something that just goes away. I struggle with nightmares and insomnia (its currently 2am.) I will unexpectedly break into tears at the mention of a plane crash. I very often have panic attacks while driving or in a car depending on the conditions (usually high winds make it worse.) Amongst many other terrors. The more I try to take a hold of my life and PTSD the harder it gets, the weaker I feel and the more I fail.

And then I remember my story and the lesson I learned. I have not the power to overcome anything on my own, but through God I can overcome anything. Psalm 23 (specifically verse 4)

 ¹ The Lord is my shepherd;
      I have all that I need.
 ² He lets me rest in green meadows;
      he leads me beside peaceful streams.
    ³ He renews my strength.
   He guides me along right paths,
      bringing honor to his name.
 ⁴ Even when I walk
      through the darkest valley,^[a]
   I will not be afraid,
      for you are close beside me.
   Your rod and your staff
      protect and comfort me.
 ⁵ You prepare a feast for me
      in the presence of my enemies.
   You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
      My cup overflows with blessings.
 ⁶ Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
      all the days of my life,
   and I will live in the house of the Lord
      forever.